Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category
Posted on May 23, 2010 - by Nicole Humphrey Cook
How Do You Live a Writer’s Life?
I heard the most absurd thing the other day. I had a neighbor at our door (and then in our living room) that I don’t know very well. She lives much further into the neighborhood, and I’ve seen her at my children’s school, but have really never spoken to her. At any rate, she was standing on my door step selling candy bars for some fundraiser for her daughter.
We got to talking and she asked me where I worked. I told her at home, and when she looked confused, I said, “I’m a writer.” That question typically warrants responses like… “Oh, what do you write?” or “Who do you write for?”. But nope. Not this time.
Her response was direct.
“Wow, you don’t look like a writer.”
I won’t lie, I was slightly taken aback, but then I just smiled and asked her, “Well, what does a writer look like, exactly.”
I probably shouldn’t have responded that way, but when people say stupid things, I can’t help but respond that way. I’m not sure she thought about it before she asked it, but she cleared her throat and had nothing to say after that. She did tell me she was surprised, since my house didn’t look like I worked at home. (Is that a compliment? – Is it because it is clean? Is it because I have four dogs, a cat, four mice that I call my little muses, and now one tiny turtle? What does that mean exactly?)
I work at home. I spend the entire day while my kids are at school on my laptop churning out thousands of words, mostly on the novel I am working on, but occasionally I still do a sprinkling of articles. So what am I supposed to look like?
I purposely use a laptop so it is mobile, and I have been known to take my iPod with me to do some writing when I am in waiting rooms, etc. I actually enjoy writing on my back patio more than anywhere else (with the exception of the occasional park or coffee houses when the mood strikes). My house probably doesn’t look like a “work at home house” since there isn’t a separate office, though I do have a space set up in the back corner of the living room. It houses a small desk I never sit at, with a plastic organizer that holds pens, pencils, highlighters, tape, a stapler, post-its, index cards, notebooks and other misc. writing aids and I have a library of writing books on a book shelf nearby that would put any writing section at the local book store to shame. Let’s not even talk about how many actual reading books are in my house. That’s another post. And if she had bothered to look a little closer, on the left side of the desk (which is not visible from where she was standing), there was a plate with crumbs from a snack I had eaten earlier that I set there as I hadn’t quite made it back to the kitchen yet, and two empty cups that had once held my liquid gold – coffee, which sadly I need to sustain my writing throughout the day. Now that I think about it, I’m glad she couldn’t see that.
So, what exactly did this woman expect to see? How am I supposed to be living a writer’s life? What should I have looked like to her? What was missing?
And now I’m curious… how do you live a writer’s life? (Interpret that theme anyway you wish)
Popularity: 15% [?]
Posted on April 19, 2010 - by Nicole Humphrey Cook
Promote the Novel You Haven’t Written
Thanks to the wonderful world of Twitter, I came across this article via @FionaRobyn written by Gina Holmes (@Ginawrites), suggesting it is a good idea to promote your novel (which is really just to say – get your name out there) as early as possible. After reading the article in full, I thought it was well written, insightful and why wouldn’t you want to get your name out there from day one?
After reading the article, I was planning a blog post about it, but before I did, I hopped back on twitter.
In case you’re not on twitter, let me explain what I did. On twitter you get 140 character messages. You can RT (re-tweet) something that someone else has shared to pass along to all of your followers (chances are you have some that are not following the original poster).
I did this with the article and then returned to my blog to begin the post I wanted to write. I hopped back over on twitter a short bit later to get Fiona’s twitter URL and I found the following response waiting for me.
LucidGlow: @FionaRobyn @simplywriting that’s so useless as expected, just more kissing up to the industry.
At first I was startled by the response, because it was obvious that she didn’t agree with the article at all. Being that I thought it was a good article, I was confused as to why, so I asked her. This was the response:
LucidGlow:@simplywriting It’s the entire general attitude/approach. @HoodedMan is right on the money with his article(s): My Fifty Cents.
So of course I went to read the article. I found myself agreeing with much of what amos (@hoodedman) said (based mostly on my conversations with other writers/authors and knowing what a few of the real life authors I know went through. However, with that said, I am having trouble understanding how the two posts actually relate to one another.
Am I missing the bigger point? It seems to be that they are clearly speaking about two totally different things. And why would a little early publicity for yourself, and the ability to get your name out there, actually be a bad thing?
So I decided to post this on my blog and open up the comments so we can talk about it (mostly because 140 characters on twitter does not allow me to ask questions or say what I need to say). So please, take the time to read both articles and then come back here and tell me what you are thinking, if you agree with one or both, if you disagree with one or both and just generally tell me your thoughts. I promise to respond 
Popularity: 7% [?]
Posted on April 12, 2010 - by Nicole Humphrey Cook
What Genre Do You Most Write?
I’ve had a lot of questions that I have been wondering lately, and have been posting them on twitter to get answers from as many writers as possible. Today I asked “What genre do you primarily write in?”. The answers were varied, some had more than one. Here is a compilation of the responses.
If you’d like to answer the question, follow me on twitter @simplywriting I’ll follow you back.
@lynfaw – The genres I write in: Christian non-fiction, devotional and unrelated scifi/fantasy.
@Anya_Potter – The genre I primarily write is fantasy romance. I have started expanding to sci-fi romance & supernatural romance.
@Zoe_E_W – Dark fantasy, but I also write sci-fi and horror.
@wickedmoxie – I usually write Paranormal, but I cross back and forth between adult and YA
@IrishWords – You know the answer to this one; I write mystery/crime/detective-ish stories.
@Falcons_Honour – Urban fantasy, LGBT fiction, non-sparkly vampires. Sometimes all three at once. 
@MarianAllen – The genre I generally write in is fantasy. Some sf, mystery, romance, mainstream, whatever, but mostly fantasy.
@Merilynjune -Criticism & Fiction – can be mixed
@jjochwat – What genre do I primarily write in? It’s called “Incompetence.”
@Wiswell – I love writing Incompetence. Might be my genre of choice, too. A lot of great humor and honesty to it.
@geekomancer – Adventure
@lizzayn – I normally write horror but I’m trying to branch out to mystery/thrillers.
@David_Amodio – Satirical non-fiction =]
@Jennifer_MK – mostly literary fiction
@oldognewtrix – Police/detective/crime novels. Started a sci-fi post apocalyptic called “surviving armageddon” 1st two installments on OEN.
@Doublelattemama – I’m still figuring that out – can I say “to be determined?” 
@blanghinrichs – Probably sci-fi, but I like writing in lots of genres.
@AVeryGoodYear Fantasy.
I will probably ask the question again in a couple of weeks just to see what others have to say. There was absolutely no reason for this, only that I was curious. Enjoy!
Popularity: 5% [?]
Posted on March 12, 2010 - by Nicole Humphrey Cook
Too Many WIP
I have entirely too many WIP’s (Work in Progress) right now. I have a gnawing need to get started on a new idea I have for a story. It’s the first one where I actually have a beginning, middle and end – ahead of time. Normally I let my characters lead, but this time I have the idea, the characters and well, I just want to write it.
I also have a question for you writer’s out there. What do you do when all your stories seem to take place either in the same location, state, country, city, place?
I have a calling to write stories that revolve around people moving from the states to another country. Usually one country in particular. I cannot STOP. It’s a NEED. Why is this?
Do you do this too?
Popularity: 2% [?]
Posted on November 15, 2009 - by Nicole Humphrey Cook
The Only Thing I Hate About Writing…
Honestly I was born to write. When I’m not writing, I feel the constant need, the constant creative thoughts flowing through me. I feel compelled to write.
When I am writing, I feel that need fulfilled. It feels almost poetic… a justice to the words and thoughts I needed to get out.
Sometimes the writing is good, and flows freely. Sometimes the words are stilted and unsure, as if they don’t know which direction to take. But no matter what, when I am writing, I feel alive.
But there is one thing I really hate about writing. When I am writing, and feeling alive, I am also very receptive to my inner thoughts. And I feel the new worlds, the new plots, developing… even when I am deep in the middle of a totally non-connected plot.
It usually happens when I am already in the midst of a plot, and I have all these new ideas occur to me. These new plots, sub plots, characters and story ideas that just inundate my brain and make it impossible to focus on the plot I am working on.
During this time, I usually just take a break from writing and grab some index cards or post its and start frantically taking notes to get the thoughts and ideas out. Often once they are all down on paper, I can return to the project at hand and get back to work.
Sometimes though, I can’t get back to work because the new story idea is yelling at me to work on it. And no matter how much I write down, it isn’t enough for those little plot bunnies that want me to keep going.
When you are working on a deadline, this can certainly wreak havoc. So today I am lost in organizing the ideas for a whole new novel, that I will work on around Christmas. I wish it would release me. I need to get back to work on my NaNo Novel and quit dreaming up new ideas.
How are you guys doing on your word counts for your current WIP? How are your novels developing? Would love to hear about it!
Popularity: 6% [?]
Posted on November 13, 2009 - by Nicole Humphrey Cook
Plotting The Next Part of My Novel
I had to take a day off writing, so I am really not as far as I would like to be, but I am hoping all that will change today.
I spent the entire day yesterday spreading out my notes and print outs, and creating post it’s to get that section more organized. I am eager to get started and was relieved that my cat and dogs didn’t mess with my stuff on the table. Yay!
Want to see the mess I made?
Haha, and just think – when I’m ready to move onto the next section of the book, I have to do this all again.
I also think its funny that in the picture I managed to capture the Motrin bottle sitting in the middle of the table. And my always needed coffee cup.
How is your novel coming along?
Popularity: 6% [?]
Posted on November 1, 2009 - by Nicole Humphrey Cook
Writing Tool Kits
Three of my children and my husband are busy laughing at me, because I have assembled what I call my ‘Writer’s Tool Kit’. Well laugh all you want, but it helps.
The only reason that the other two aren’t laughing is because they are doing NaNoWriMo with me this year, so they know how awesome it is to have a way to carry everything with you. I’m glad I have my writing tool kit. And you certainly don’t have to participate in a specific writing program to have a writing tool kit on hand.
So, what is in my writing tool kit?
No, it isn’t stocked with protein rich snacks, and packets of coffee. It is a tote bag that holds my netbook, a notebook, several pens in various colors, the cords that go to my netbook and connect to my digital camera and video recorder (for my upcoming NaNo Pep Talks), a sample size bottle of awesome lotion for my hands (I use it when I’m done writing), my copy of No Plot, No Problem, and two other writing books, post-it notes, hard candy, pencils, fun erasers and index cards.
I have been carrying this thing around with me everywhere the past couple of days. It’s just nicer to have everything together in one place. I’m sure I will add to it as National Novel Writing Month progresses and as I find other things I might need when I do my writing, especially away from home. But then, maybe not. Simple is always better.
Do you have a writing kit? If so, what’s in it?
Popularity: 8% [?]
Posted on October 10, 2009 - by Nicole Humphrey Cook
Word Count for Famous Novels
*Updated October 2010 with a few additions*
I have posted this in the past, or something similar. But a friend recently sent this to me via email just to show me and I thought it was a good thing to post on my blog for others to see. I did some research and added a bunch too.
I know I have looked at books before and wondered how many words they actually are. For some odd reason, this helps me immensely in my own word count goals. I like to see what the finished product could wind up looking like. Since I write young adult fiction, my word counts are often different. I don’t write fantasy so when my books tend to get on the longer side, I have to cut scenes and chapters that don’t matter as much. Oh, the horror. What? Things I have written don’t matter? Well if they don’t matter to the story, they don’t really need to be in there.
Here are some of the most famous books and their word counts:
Harry Potter Books
Philosopher’s Stone-77,325
Chamber of Secrets-84,799
Prisoner of Azkaban-106,821
Goblet of Fire-190,858
Order of the Phoenix257,154
Half Blood Prince-169,441
Deathly Hallows-198,227
Other Famous Books
Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe-36,363
The Hobbit-95,022
Moby Dick-206,052
Oliver Twist-155,960
Old Yeller-35,968
Anna Karenina-349,736
War and Peace-587,287
Jane Eyre-183,858
The Outsiders-48,523
Schindler’s List-134,710
The Red Badge of Courage-47,180
Gone with the Wind-418,053
The English Patient-82,370
Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl-82,762
A Prayer for Owen Meany-236,061
Crime and Punishment-211,591
Treasure Island-66,950
Little Women (Books 1&2)-183,833
The Brothers Karamazov-364,153
Sense and Sensibility-119,394
Great Expectations-183,349
Watership Down-156,154
Ender’s Game-100,609
Moby Dick-206,052
A Separate Peace-56,787
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-30,644
Emma-155,887
The Wind in the Willows-58,428
The Hours-54,243
The Golden Compass-112,815
The Fellowship of the Ring-177,227
The Two Towers-143,436
The Return of the King-134,462
The Lord of the Rings-455,125
The Tenth Circle-114,779
My Sister’s Keeper-119,529
Crime & Punishment-211,591
A Tale of Two Cities-135,420
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea-138,138
White Teeth-169,389
Atonement-123,378
The Mouse and the Motorcycle-22,416
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn-109,571
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer-69,066
The Secret Garden – 80,398
The Grapes of Wrath-169,481
The Great Gatsby-47,094
One Hundred Years of Solitude-144,523
Memoirs of a Geisha-186,418
The Last of the Mohicans-145,469
Lord of the Flies-59,900
Cold Mountain-161,511
Cold Sassy Tree-145,265 F
The Color Purple-66,556
The Catcher in the Rye-73,404
The Joy Luck Club-91,419
Snow Falling on Cedars-138,098
1984-88,942
Black Beauty-59,635
Cold Mountain-161,511
Anne of Green Gables-97,364
Midnight’s Children-208,773
Brave New World-63,766
Gullivers Travels-107,349
A House for Mr. Biswas-198,901
All the Pretty Horses-99,277
A Suitable Boy-591,554(estimate)
The Yearling-128,886
White Fang-72,071
Wuthering Heights-107,945
Popularity: 36% [?]
Posted on October 9, 2009 - by Nicole Humphrey Cook
How to Format a Novel
I finally have what I consider a complete manuscript. But I wanted to play around with it a little and see what it would look like as a completed novel. There is a difference between formatting a novel, and formatting a manuscript, and it is important to know those differences. This is how to format a novel, something that more than likely would be happening in the publishing phase, and not something you would necessarily be doing – with the exception of self-publishing.
So if you are interested in formatting a novel – read on. If you are interested in formatting a manuscript, I have an article for that too – located under Writing Tips.
So onto formatting your novel.
The beginning of the book, typically looks like this:
Page One: Your Title page
Page Two: Your Copyright page (this is only necessary if you are going to get this work published)
Page Three: Your Dedication page (Completely optional, however a nice touch. Adds a little ‘personal’ to the book. If you do decide against including a dedication page, then page three should be designated as an additional title page or you can leave the page blank. Your choice.)
Page Four: Blank (if you have already left page three blank, move on to ‘page 5′ here, don’t leave two blank pages.)
Page Five: Table of Contents (Most fictional pieces do not include a table of contents, however, again this is a choice – or a mandatory if you have a non-fiction novel)
Page Six and Seven: Map(s) or Picture (This is also optional. Fantasy novels especially include maps with their novels, however this is a great page for a drawing or picture from the novel if you choose.)
When you get ready to actually format where the first page begins, it should always start on an odd page.
In addition, the title page, dedication page, table of contents page, and chapter one page should always be odd pages. So if you skip anything, be sure to insert a blank page where needed.
After some research, I learned that most novels are printed in standard 6×9 trade size. The gutters, which are the inside seam of the book, are .75″ and the margins are .5″. I am assuming this is all fairly standard.
In the header of each page, typically the author’s name is on the left page (even) and the book title is on the opposite page (right – or odd page).
In the footer of each page, the page number should be placed in the center on every page with the exception of the first page or on the opposite side of the author name/book title in the header. It is more common in the footer, and I firmly believe that despite what the experts say, it really does depend on the book, etc. I have seen books with a page number all the way from page 1 and then one that didn’t start until page 3 or 4.
Once you have everything set up that way, you will need to go into the page setup mode of whatever program you are using, and select the mirror function (or similar command). This will put the gutters on opposite pages and place the text where it belongs.
Now would be a great time to save the document if you have not done so already, though I strongly urge you to do it before you do any new command. This way you can undo the command, or revert to the saved copy, should anything go wrong.
Now it is important to go back and double check everything to be sure it all has ‘landed’ in the right place. Check your headers, footers, the margins of each page, the gutters and the page numbers.
Now it’s time to ‘create your novel’. This just might be the simplest part of the whole process. You now need to convert the finished piece into a pdf format. Most word processing programs have a way to do this, but if you need a program, google ‘creating a .pdf’ and download a program for that purpose.
For the record, Open Office, a free word processing program with all the bells and whistles of Microsoft Office, has an actual button in the program for clicking to create a .pdf through Adobe.
Congratulations, if you are interested in self-publishing, you are ready to go. If not, be sure to check out formatting a manuscript, because editors want something entirely different.
Popularity: 3% [?]
Posted on September 26, 2009 - by Nicole Humphrey Cook
You Know You Are a Serious Writer When….
In the spirit of October 1st quickly approaching, which means they will clear out the forums and start fresh again, I am posting this awesome list that NaNo’ers provided on a really fun thread.
You know you’re a serious writer when:
- The people at Starbucks know you by name and what drinks you like
- You’ve ever drank a frappuccino and coffee at the same time after writing
- You’ve ever stirred a drink with a pen
- You have writing calluses all over your hands
- Your manicurist took one look at your fingers and keeled over
- The letters on your keyboard are wearing away
- You find yourself writing little stories in your head all the time
- You fall in love with a character in one of your stories
- You have conversations with fictional characters.
- You compare every other book, movie, TV show, etc to what you’re currently writing and what you’ve already written.
- Your friends all know your characters by name and ask you how they’re doing.
- You have participated in NaNoWriMo at least once
- You have been asked to do something with your friends and you give them “the look”…and they know that you have to write.
- You consult an actual grammar book for minor errors
- You refuse to eat by your computer because there is a small chance that something will be spilled on it and you don’t want to lose anything
- You often quote Ernest Hemingway in casual conversation
- You go to the movie theater early so you’ll have time to read Elements of Style before the movie starts.
- You pick snacks to eat at said theater that won’t mess up your book while you’re reading.
- You discuss the movie using terms like characterization, plot, character change, motivation, and genre.
- You stay through all the credits because you think that someday you might be listed in them as author and you would want someone to see your name.
- You have a natural tendency to correct grammar and style when you see memos and pamphlets from work.
- Your kids look at you like you’re crazy when you discuss the difference in meanings and intent of sentences using “Can you…” or “Will you…”
- You open up your own used bookstore so you can have access to tons of books. (And people think it’s work!)
- You spend more time with your characters than actual friends.
- You’ve been known to accidentally walk away with a pen
- You train yourself to “see five or six [stories]” as per Orson Scott Card’s quote.
- Learning something new, you wonder if you could put it into the current story to help you remember it better.
- You re-read your post, discover a typo, and then facepalm before correcting it. *New, not “knew”*
- realizing that your “s” key is starting to stick on a regular basis almost sends you into a panic attack”?
- your friends have learned how to interpret your mutterings and translate them into normal human speech.
- you sleep more at school during class than you do at night.
- all beverages are consumed with a straw so as not to occupy your hands.
- you’ve learned to type one-handed so you can eat your hastily-assembled sandwich with the other to work during lunch break.
- you “accidentally” refer to your main characters as real people. “Sorry, [friend], can’t tonight. [Character] and I have some unfinished business to write.”
- you wake up and the first thing you do is write that gem of an idea that came to you in your sleep.
- you step out of the shower, dripping, to write down that gem of an idea that came to you while shaving your legs. Or washing your hair. Or peeing down the drain. Whatever.
- you keep a pad of paper and pen in your bathroom so you can write during your showers.
- you’ve startled friends/housemates/significant others with cries of “EUREKA!”, “GODDAMMIT”, and “WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME???”
- you’ve learned to ignore the looks of the unenlightened when they overhear you practicing your dialogue aloud, complete with costume changes and/or movement. In public places.
- Your parents/siblings/friends/relatives no longer give you wierd looks when you have an epiphany over some plot idea. These can occur anywhere but are not limited to the shower, computer, listening to music, in a room, driving down the road.
- You type frantically to get those last few sentences into your novel even though people are waiting on you to get moving.
- You ramble and rant to anyone who will listen about which character is doing what and why it’s wrecking havoc on the story.
- You throw a fit when someone has the misfortune to bring up: “but don’t you control your characters?” And by throwing a fit, I mean staring them down into submission while laughing in a ‘don’t-you-wish’ kinda way.
- The “E” on your keyboard is so dirty it’s disgusting.
- The “T” is in pretty much the same state.
- Actually, wait no the apostrophe key is the worst.
- Screw it, they’re all as bad as each other.
- You can tell which hand you use to press the space bar from the fact that one side is dirtier than the other.
(You know you’re a NaNovelist if your backbutton is cleaner than your letter keys)
- You keep a notebook beside your bed in case you get ideas in the middle of the night.
- You have three novels you could do for NaNo and one of them is the first of a series.
(Extra points if you just realised one of the other two would make a great series, as well)
- Your walls are covered in maps, notes, outlines, wordbuilding, profiles and printed out Wikipedia pages.
- You’ve had a “writing bump” on your finger since you were eight and you’re pretty sure it’s never going away.
- You know what a writing cramp feels like.
- You love writing.
-It’s normal to stay up until four a.m. writing, even when you have to get up to go to school at seven
-Your nieces (2 and 7) have learned that when Auntie is typing it’s best not to make noise…of any kind
-caffeine does nothing for you, it’s figuring out that plot-hole that really gets you going
-You’ve woken up with your face on your keyboard and had 12 pages of a single letter to delete
-The above mentioned position happens at least once a week…..
-You panic if/when you lose your pen/pencil… then realize it’s behind your ear
-You thank people for no aparent reason when they give you an idea
-You yell at blank pages when you have writer’s block
-You snap at people who don’t think you’re writing anything important
-You get impatient when people can’t read/write/type as fast as you
- you run around asking “Pen? Pen? Anyone gotta pen??” Then proceed to write on your hand the idea that came to mind
- you walk away from your friends during a party and ask the host for a pen and paper
- you store a pen/pencil and pads of paper in your purse or suitcase or pockets
- you start writing an idea that came to you during a test down on the back of the test
- you’re up for HOURS upon HOURS writing like crazy though you’ve got work to do
- there’s a bump on your finger that’s from writing too much and it’s worse than anyone else’s
- your friends don’t question your sanity anymore for suddenly wondering about the novel out loud
- your parents or siblings or anyone walks into the room asking if you want to go somewhere, see you writing or typing furiously, and turn about and go “Nevermind.”
- when you start calling your friend a character’s name
- you’re in the middle of something or somewhere, when an idea hits you and you gotta write it down somehow
- you have to go out again to buy another paper stack
- your friends don’t look twice or do double takes for anything about the novel talk
- you tell your parents that you’re doing homework and they definitely know that you’re writing.
- at a friend’s big, beautiful fairy-tale wedding, you’re daydreaming about your characters’ eventual weddings, not your own!
-you start talking to characters in your head
- you redecorate your bedroom solely so that you can make room for a writing nook in it
- you spend all your money on notebooks
- you let your characters boss you around.
- When you have a great idea and can’t find a pen and paper you start writing madly into your mobile phone.
- You’ve written some of your best ideas on your mobile while walking.
- You dream about your characters and when you wake up have to write down your dream exactly because it’s perfect for your next chapter.
- You set your alarm for half and hour before you have to start getting ready for school/work in case you have some great ideas and need to write them down before leaving home.
- You forget to write your essay for school because you’re too busy with your characters.
- You’re jealous of your characters lives, despite the fact that you know the one(s) you’re jealous of is going to die/have someone close to them die.
- You fall in love with your MC or their significant other and wish you had someone like that in your life.
- You’re constantly thinking about your writing, to the point that people are actually used to you blurting out random things with apparently nothing provoking it.
- Your friends don’t even ask you to elaborate when you tell them someone is a “NaNo-friend” or a “NaNo-character” but just accept, although you’re sure they think you’re crazy and have been talking to people in your head.
- You absolutely loathe it when someone uses the word, “ain’t” because it’s improper grammar.
- You get up in the morning with plot ideas scrawled on the back of your hand because you couldn’t risk forgetting the ideas during the night.
- On trips, you bring the equivalent of a small stationary store in your bag.
- You occasionally see things through your characters’ eyes or converse with them mentally.
- Your parents tell you that you’re “articulate” even when what you’ve said is, in your opinion, totally normal. (That happened today at dinner)
- You find errors in the books they give you in English class.
- You hate to use bad grammar or lack of capital letters in e-mails.
- In the yearbook under your career goal section, you’re the only one to use a complete sentence. Incidentally, the sentence is “I want to be an author”. (From my elementary yearbook)
- When spending hours trying to fix certain plot holes, you randomly shout things like “But I can’t do that, can’t I?” Even when you’re in the middle of a store…
- When your parents hear your random outbursts and wonder if they should have you “observed.”
- When you stay up all night, hoping that you’ll get a great idea for your story and get into that “writing mode” when your hands are practically flying over the keys.
- Write or Die is your dear, dear friend.
- You’ve been talking to your characters…and they’ve been talking back (ooh, spooky…).
- When you have a white board in your room that you only use to work out plot points and write ideas down.
- you have, or plan on having, a knack-sack just for you’re novel-writing stuff which you take with you whenever you go out in public
Editor’s Note: (or you are editing your blog post filled with reasons people know they are writers and you see the one written above and you want to scream because its a knapsack and it isn’t you’re novel, its YOUR novel.) hehe sorry I couldn’t resist (and yes I’m aware there are others).
- you have numerous pages of names and a few name websites saved on your flash drive
- you have most of your flash drive dedicated to writing stuff (lists of people names, planet names, names for ships and taverns, and whatever else!)
- when reading another novel, you begin to think of how you can fit certain concepts/ideas from the said novel into something of your own, whether it be a novel or short story
- you find a new kind of pen that’s good for writing and it makes you happier than having money
- you find that different kinds of pens make you write differently (i.e. fluid pens make my writing more flowery)
- when you’re writing a good scene and someone interrupts you, you want to duct tape their mouth, even if it’s your beloved
- when you get excited while reading a good part of your story as if someone else much cleverer than you wrote it.
- When you get an idea and you write on yourself with paint because there’s nothing else in the room to write with and your hands are too dirty to go scrounge around for a paper and pencil.
- When your friends ask you if your character is real because by the way you talk about them, they seem real.
- When your mother yells at you for not eating enough because you’re too busy writing.
- When you realize you’re crying because you killed of yet ANOTHER character you really liked.
- When you fangirl over one of your characters.
- When you greet your friends enthusiastically with a word count. And they understand.
- When you have a Document on your computer at all times and papers everywhere in your room.
- When you take a shower or go to the bathroom because you know that you’ll get a plot idea just because there’s nothing to write with in that blasted room.
- When you have to manually relax your facial muscles after an angsty/sad/angry scene you’ve just written. (All the time… everything tenses on me. My shoulders are always so sore.)
- When the first three letters of your username spell “Pen” and it becomes your Pseudonym for pretty much everything online.
- You start rewriting a novel with the expectation of getting it published–someday.
- You train yourself to see story ideas that are everywhere.
- The number of characters in your head rival the number of friends you have in real life.
- You have more arguments with your characters than with your siblings.
- You have an entire folder of favorites/bookmarks on your computer titled “Writing Stuff” or something similar.
- Bonus points if the contents of that folder is much more than the rest of your favorites
- You get an odd, spacey look on your face when you start thinking of ideas – and your friends have learned to ignore it because they know they won’t be able to get a straight sentence out of you anymore that doesn’ thave something to do with your book
- You carry a notebook around like a teddybear
- Your bedroom has numerous glasses/bowls/plates in it from all the meals you’ve eaten in there and haven’t had time to clean up
- On a trip to the bookstore/library the first section you go is the writing resources/reference (Editor’s Note: uhm, doesn’t everybody?)
- Bonus points if you’re broke because you spent all your money on books
- Double bonus points if you have, on numerous occasions, thanked your friend for the dictionary/thesaurus/baby names book you bought with a gift card they gave you for your birthday
- You own more than one baby names book and they all have ratty pages and dog-eared corners from flipping through them over and over again…
- Bonus points if you haven’t actually ever had your own children
- You write down random things your friends say to use as humorous conversations in your stories
- You google things at 2 am
- You fall asleep thinking up the next scene for your story
- you can’t go anywhere without a notebook and pen. Just in case.
- the more you write, the more you want to write later–for months, and then years
- you would rather set aside time to write than watch movies, go out with friends, or even–gasps–read
- you hold talks with your characters when everyone around you can hear you
- You’re setting your alarm clock to wake you earlier and earlier each morning, in preparation to deal with schoolwork during the month of November, because you’ve decided to solely focus on NaNo.
- You just dissected your last sentence and made a mental note to take out from your AugNo all the run-on sentences.
- You’re trying to decide between watching National Treasure and NaNoForums, even though NT is one of your favorite movies and never on…. finally you pick the forums.
- You are boogie boarding, when suddenly a great idea hits you out of nowhere. You proceed to develop it while in the middle of breaking waves.
- When you get look of determination on your face, your friends have learnt (Editor’s note: this is not a word people) not to say anything until you find a piece of paper and a pen… even though you are no where near any of the above supplies. Then you resort to using your phone to save the idea.
- You have used more notebooks for writing than for school.
- You haven’t finished any of the notebooks you bought for writing because each new draft gets its own notebook.
-You bring your notebook to lunch, even though your’re not supposed to being anything
-You’re supposed to be potty training your new puppy and take her out ever 15 minutes, but you just keep her in your room and clean up after her so you can write
-You’re room is a mess of paper from ideas you decided you don’t like
- when your explanation for everything is, “I’m a writer.” And you seriously think that it justifies some stuff (like why you couldn’t sleep, and why you keep zoning out because there are entire battles going on in your head all at once)
- when you read an article online detailing how musicians and novelists are proven to have been more imaginative children, and you think: wow, they’re just figuring that out?
- When you’re writing a note to someone, and you write ‘his own’, and your brain goes “Reflexive pronoun use; use sparingly”
- When you want to work at a bookstore just because you’re ‘surrounded by friends’
- when you find your favorite author’s phone number in the phone book, and seriously have to resist calling him, because he’s world-famous and would probably think you were stalking him XD
- when you use phrases like ‘pearls before swine’ to scare away people who want to make unintelligent conversation
- when you correct your camp leader’s grammar and make him correct it in front of the whole class
- When someone is touching the crisp white paper of your manuscript you tackle them and take the paper from their hands
- you Have bowls and dishes right by your computer
- When you see someone on the street that looks like how you imagine your character you run up to them and yell, “Ohmygosh! I can’t believe your here! Oh my gosh oh my gosh!”
- People ask you your hobbies and you don’t even think to say “writing” because to you, it’s as natural as breathing or watching TV.
- You take up a new activity or visit a new place and you think how to fit this new knowledge into your novel.
- You listen to older music, and it reminds you of what you were writing at the time.
- In fact, you reminisce about past years and months by what you were writing at the time.
- You spend any time walking thinking about your current project.
- You easily fall into the mood of whatever chapter you’re working on.
-You don’t remember any of your recent meals, or if you even had any
-You start writing, then come out of your trance four hours later because you seriously need to pee
-You frame the letters you get back from publishers, even though they’re negative
-You start twitching uncontrollably whenever someone uses bad grammar or spelling and won’t let you correct it
- you do work experience at a bookstore
- four weeks later they hire you
- your mother has to almost drag out of afore mentioned bookstore at the end of your shift
-you spent an entire math class attempting to draw your MC. even though you have a test on this stuff next week
- an author came in not a half-hour into your first shift at afore mentioned bookstore and you were bouncing around so much most of your photos came out as him and a skin-toned blur.
- When you have to carry around a pad of paper and a pen wherever you go
- you get called for jury duty and you WANT to do it because of the experience that will be able to be used in your writing.
- you get put on the jury and you are trying to remember everything that happens so you can write it down later.
- you analyze everything from the perspective of how you can use it in a book.
- during deliberations you compare everything to Twelve Angry Men
- you are excited when they pass out notepad so you can take notes during the trial.
- you are just as disappointed when you find out that you can’t take said notes home after you’re done.
- you come away from the trial with LOTS of ideas of things you can use in your writing.
- you don’t mention that you’re a writer because you heard they don’t like to have writers on juries. And you’re relieved that the issue never came up.
- during deliberations you use the writer’s perspective as you state you’re opinions.
- you study the other jurors and wonder how to characterize them if you write a novel about a jury.
- you know you just have to post this in one of these forums.
- you know that at the end of the trial it’s not going to be dramatic and with a neat easy solution like in Perry Mason novels.
- you’re comparing the lawyers to Perry Mason / Raymond Burr. And the prosecutor to Tragg, even though she’s a she.
- after all is done, you’re wondering what other possible outcomes there could have been if there was a different verdict. (What if…?)
- you edit this post several times for grammar and spelling, and still hope you’re getting it right.
- During shopping trips you have more eye of the clothes your characters could/would wear, then for your own stuff.
- You have an obsession finding the perfect pen and notebook, just because it gives you the feeling it will make your writing better.
- At your daily job, you can only think about your characters and what they would do next.
- You can’t wait to tell your boss goodbye because you are a bestselling author now.
- you read/watch a bad book/movie and complain loudly about how you would have done a so much better job
- when something bad happens to you, you comfort yourself with ‘well, at least I can write this from personal experience now’
- you find yourself making up little stories about the people you meet on the street or in the supermarket as a mental writing exercise
- You carry a small Thesaurus in your purse
- You have pens in your car, your purse, your hair, your hand, etc
- You get extra napkins at the restaurant to write on
- You dream about your characters
- You talk about/to your characters so much that your boyfriend/girlfriend gets insanely jealous.
- you can never find bits of paper lying around, so your desk has endless messages and ideas scrawled directly on it.
- you have to take deep breaths and count to ten in order to avoid murdering someone when you receive a text that reads “hey gurl wut u doing 2nite?”
- you actually spell out all of your words and usually use proper sentence structure in text messages.
- the characters you have running around in your head berate you when you are doing your homework instead of paying attention to them (i’m dealing with this right now. little hellions)
- people gape in shock and awe at the gigantic writing bump you have on your finger, and you can not remember a time when you didn’t have it.
- some days the only thing that gets you through your roman culture homework is knowing that the knowledge you gain is going to make a wonderful addition to your story.
-You have texted yourself a writing idea at a time when you did not have any pen or paper.
- you think about what you want to say to someone, and you turn it into a line for a book instead. For example, say you wanted to tell your parents that you wanted to become an author. Instead of saying anything, you end up thinking, “And so Amelia thought to herself, ‘I want to become an author.’”
- when you save all your money for a laptop not because you need it, but because you are tired of going to write ins with nothing but a notebook and later have to transcribe everything onto the desktop
- you drink double shots at 9:30pm because this chapter just won’t end and you still have homework to do.
- your roommate is satisfied with the vague response “my characters…” after you randomly yell “DAMN YOU ALL” at the laptop.
- you panic when you discover your pad of post-it notes has gone missing.
- you panic some more when you realize you’re nearly out of good pens.
- missing a trip to Barnes & Noble is like missing your own birthday.
- if even you hated the book, you keep it, because it’s a book (and who can toss those out?).
- getting your NaNoWriMo “author” t-shirt makes you giddy with excitement (got mine today and I changed into it immediately).
- nearly every song in your iTunes reminds you of a specific character or a scene from a novel.
- even if you aren’t actually writing, you’re thinking about writing.
- Instead of writing as you speak, you speak as you write.
- when your 5th grader sister asks you to type her homework because she knows your a better typer and you agree. than while she is orally giving you her story you secretly edit sentences to make it sound better… guilty LOL
- Your back hurts from sitting at the computer for so long. So instead of taking a break (God forbid), you just tie a heating pad to the back of the chair with shoestrings. You crank it up to the highest setting it has, sit back down and keep going.
- You keep all of your writing on thumb drives in your car just in case the house catches on fire, God forbid.
- when your making dinner and set off the fire alarm due to burnt steak because you were distracted with writing (or reading these posts and laughing at yourself).
You go to a bookstore with your friends, only to separate from the group and go to the “writing resource” section, where you promptly sit on the floor and leaf through every book within your immediate reach.
- When you have a favorites folder for writing websites on your desktop, laptop, AND work computer!
- you post on forums about being a serious writer.
- your typing speed and accuracy has tripled since switching to computer noveling/writing.
- you flip out when there’s no more honey for tea, and if you don’t get some IMMEDIATELY, life will cease to exist. Because you cannot write without some caffeine.
- When you want to write, it’s always those awkward moments when people need you to do something else important like, say, find the water mains switch because the bath tap just burst.
-You still manage to finish a paragraph or two before you actually help.
-People know that if they tell you anything and don’t say ‘keep it to yourself.’ It will end up known by everyone someday, in the form of a plot device or character development.
-People know never to ask when they can have the computer.
-When you type so fast sometimes your own head can’t keep up, and the little mistakes you end up with annoy you.
-You type faster in proper English on msn than the person you’re talking too, who is using 1337 SP3@K.
- When you want to start teaching 1337 users the proper way to spell and type words.
- You and your writing friend always write during Registration and tutor time.
- You spend all weekend locked away in your room.
- You randomly get ideas when you are having a conversation with your (non-writing) friends who then give you strange looks as you grab the nearest pen and write on your hand.
- The above but in a lesson.
- you do not allow yourself to leave your room until you have finished your set word count.
- you use Write or Die way, way too much.
- you Keep saying ‘I can’t wait for NaNoWriMo’ to your non-writer friends who again, give you strange looks and once having the whole point explained to them say ‘why bother?’ *head-desk moment*
- you accidentally call your boyfriend the name of your mc’s love interest….. yeah, it’s happened. i had to show him my novel, which i swore to show no one, to prove i wasn’t cheating on him haha!
- You compare friends to characters, use them for characters, or they are your charters, etc.
- You type so fast that your family makes fun of you (even the ones who have taken keyboarding classes for work)
- You can’t get to sleep without thinking of some kind of story
- You drag your grandfather to the book store to buy a book on writing that you just have to have that day even though it’s ten o’clock at night and he’s tired.
- Your bookshelf is so full with books for entertainment that you have to have a separate one for books on writing, grammar, etc.
- Your heart stops for a second when the computer freezes, and if it doesn’t come back up you start crying. (especially if you didn’t save the last thousand words you wrote)
- Teachers love you because your always such a good quiet child, doing your work, taking notes.
- Teachers hate you when they realize you haven’t been paying attention.
- Your teacher hands you a study sheet for a test and you look up at her hurt and confused because you didn’t know they had even done the criminal photography unit.
- You nearly turn Incredible Hulk on your science teacher for taking your notebook just because you were writing during his class instead of listening, in November!
- You start to talk like your characters.
- You spend your second period in the NaNo forums because it’s more fun.
- You cried when NaNo ended.
- You cried when it began.
- You can type as quickly with one hand as some people could with four.
- You can never find anything to eat because it all takes to much time to make and you have to write and no you don’t want spaghetti you can’t eat that and type at the same time.
- Getting a new pen or notebook is like Christmas
- Your family worries about you during the months of October and November.
- Your friends never know when to pay attention to you or ignore your crazed mutterings.
- Your friends actually know when to ignore you.
- The lady in the bookstore asks if your writing a novel when you buy a book about writing and you recruit her for NaNo.
- You want your friends and family to participate so they will understand and won’t bother you when you say “Need write word count.”
- Your speech suffers greatly from the confusion of replying to real people in grunts and single words, and writing you various character dialects.
- You have to tell yourself that it’s okay your novel will be there when you get back from the bathroom, even if the computer crashes you’ve backed it up on your flash drive, school/work computer, emailed it to yourself and have a hard copy in your written in your notebook.
- You are already mentally planning how to get to classes quicker so that you’ll have more writing time.
- You hate everyone with a laptop (especially that freshman on hate bus who brought his laptop for “No apparent reason.” I really want to kill that kid)
- Your pens run out of ink.
- your friends ask you to the movies and your response is ‘I will go to the movies when I am done with my novel, I will be done with my novel when I finish high school, I will finish high school in three years. No, I cannot go to the movies with you!’ and your friend says ok as though this is a normal reaction; because for you it is
- you say ‘oh my god, this scene totally happened in my story’ in the middle of science class
- your cat grows so fed up with having no attention she sits on the keyboard and refuses to move
- whenever anyone makes you mad, you put them in a novel and kill them violently
- your teachers comment that you’ve been paying attention in class, are you having another fight with your MC?
- you start hyperventilating when you find out your favorite pens aren’t made by that company anymore and you spend several weeks searching for them online and in stores before finally sending a series of angry letters to the company
- when your MC has his/her own REAL myspace, facebook, twitter, blog, etc. (guilty…my MCs have a blog this year.
- When you start doodling your characters in your notebooks
- When your characters begin appearing in your dreams
- When your space bar doesn’t work anymore
- When your backspace key doesn’t work either
- When your mouse is still brand-new when your keys are barely readable anymore
- When you notice you’re hungry four hours ago.
That was all that was written the day I pulled these. I know there will be a new thread after NaNo starts, so perhaps I’ll do this again. I did not do much editing, except in a few places and just because it made me giggle.
Enjoy!
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